🌱 Growing by Helping Others Grow

While each individual can chart their own growth path, we inevitably find ourselves depending on those around us, navigating shared dependencies and trade-offs that don’t always perfectly align with everyone’s interests. Sometimes, others may have blind spots or shortcomings they aren’t yet aware of; these may not directly affect us right away, but the ripple effects could touch us in the future. That’s why choosing to invest in someone else’s development with genuine kindness and constructive feedback, forms the cornerstone of strong, reciprocal relationships where everyone grows together by helping each other grow.

The Neuroscience of Helping

First-hand experiences has always convinced me of the benefits of helping people grow, but this time I decided to dig into the neuroscience that may reveal deeper reasons for this philosophy. And it turns out that research has shown that helping others triggers the brain’s reward systems, lighting up the same circuits that process pleasure and motivation.

Mirror neurons play a crucial role in this process. These specialized brain cells enable us to understand and internally simulate others’ actions and emotions, forming the neural foundation for empathy and social connection. When we see someone succeed through our guidance, these neurons fire as if we’re experiencing that success ourselves, creating deep satisfaction and motivation to continue helping.

People who regularly engage in helping behaviors show reduced symptoms of anxiety and depression, lower cortisol levels, and increased production of dopamine and serotonin. The act of helping others literally improves our mental health while simultaneously contributing to others’ development.

The Psychology of Reciprocity

Dr. Robert Cialdini’s research puts reciprocity front and center among the core principles of human interaction and influence. The reciprocity principle states that humans are naturally wired to return favors and treat others as they’ve been treated. It’s a deeply ingrained psychological mechanism that has evolved to promote cooperation and mutual survival.

In professional relationships, this manifests powerfully. When mentors invest genuine effort in developing others, those individuals naturally feel compelled to support their mentor’s success in return. This creates what researchers call “positive feedback loops” that spiral upward, benefiting both parties continuously.

The Impact of Constructive Feedback

Constructive feedback enhances self-awareness by helping people identify blind spots, builds resilience through learning to process input without defensiveness, and increases confidence by reinforcing strengths while clarifying improvement areas. When delivered with empathy and specificity, feedback becomes a gift that demonstrates genuine care for the recipient’s growth.

More than anything, delivering kind and constructive feedback ensures that the people around us are more likely to succeed compared to without it. We are all unsure all the time, of the work we have produced, and imposter syndrome never goes away. In such situations someone pointing out where we can double down to improve our output or growth path, is often comforting as it gives us a direction to make progress. And by the psychology of reciprocity, if you are giving enough helpful feedbacks, it should also come back your way – given they know you appreciate constructive feedback yourself.

The most powerful aspect of this approach is its sustainability. When we help others grow through thoughtful feedback and support, we create “growth circles”. Our own development continues as we develop others, creating an upward spiral where everyone benefits.

The key lies in approaching this with authentic kindness rather than transactional thinking. When people perceive helping behavior as genuine rather than manipulative, the reciprocal benefits are significantly stronger. The focus must be on truly serving others’ development, trusting that the natural psychology of reciprocity will create mutual benefit over time. This approach creates environments where everyone thrives together through the simple yet profound act of caring enough to help each other grow.

Some recommended articles for further reading:

• https://www.influenceatwork.com/7-principles-of-persuasion/
• https://knowingneurons.com/why-helping-feels-good-the-neuroscience-of-reciprocity/
• https://www.clemmergroup.com/articles/growing-others/